that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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