I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
