And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
