is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
