I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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