since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
