okay pat passed out under dana's car
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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