You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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