the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The adults are the big ones right?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
