apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
