You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
