i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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