can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
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My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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