now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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