So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
