May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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