ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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