Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Buhtt sex?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
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I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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