yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
