Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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