And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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