Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize