i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
it was like eating out sand paper
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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