I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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