no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize