What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
