I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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