Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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