his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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