in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
