just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
