I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
