one might say we're banned from that church
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
