"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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