Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
