White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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