Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
