I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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