My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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