we're blogging at a bar
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
