just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
