so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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