so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
