FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Drunk is not a location!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
