Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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