eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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