Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize