But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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