escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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