I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
