I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
birth control should be required to get into college
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
