I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize