I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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