why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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