Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
