wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
When are your genitals available?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
