all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
